Last Chemo....stream of consciousness about travel, chicken soup, hair, friends and longevity.

I have only had chemotherapy twice, but already my life is organized around it in so many ways! This last 50 hour infusion was easier because I knew what to expect. I haven't been sick except for stomach stuff, freezing mouth and hands and maybe a cold coming on. But the fatigue is just killer. Even reading, which was my refuge, is too much energy to muster. Yet, I don't sleep. I have my own midnight in the garden of good and evil!

Visits from people have been great. When friends come for an hour and bring food, or help eat what someone else has brought here, it is the most fun. In fact, I am having quite a challenge in the Jew versus nun chicken soup contest. The Jews were way out ahead, but the sisters are making up ground steadily. I will need more entries to make a final decision, and several will have to be re-tested. I expect Sister Betty will take the baked goods single handedly once she finds some ripe bananas. I was kind of hoping for one of Chuck Miller's chicken pot pies.

The hair is coming out. I called Mary Sue and Alison last night to be sure I can get it shaved with their boys' clippers at short notice. Best part was Mary Sue has a new phone she does not know how to turn off, so I got to listen to her analyze what she should have said to me after she thought I was gone. LOL!

I am "off" this week. I do not have chemo, and I hope 

to get to Minnesota for the weekend to see Mugs and the northern sisters. I fact, I had hoped my hair would hold on until I got back. Last time I was at Doorways, I modeled a beret, a ball cap and a hard hat to determine how I should cover my head. I can't quite do the wig thing right now, since I hate anything on my head even in winter. Scarfs are a little too Cleopatra for my personality. I suspect I will wear some sort of a hat in polite company and "go rock" the rest of the time, as the Sistahs at Doorways have suggested. I'll just have to see what that pasty white head looks like. I don't know how low it will go, but I do remember Rosemary Bishop once saying, about losing pubic hair, "how would you make soap suds to wash?" Inquiring minds want to know........and with luck, you'll read it right here!

JoAnn has been my personal physician, sister servant, housekeeper, negotiator, shot giver, medicine keeper, caution minder, drama queen and CARE giver. I have asked so many times, how do people do this on their own?  Many kind people have taken on small and large tasks (if you have not been asked yet, don't feel bad. You ARE on the list!) and I am generally feeling well cared for and much loved, though I don't seem to have time or energy to thank everyone. It is humbling.

I miss being at work and with people there a lot! I am in touch with Joe Noelker, acting ED, and several board members and staff, but it is hard not to be part of the day to day. I hope to go to the board meeting and the RED Patron event at Casa Spurrier y Koesterer this week!

Lots of people, knowing the typically poor prognosis for this cancer, have asked, or hesitated to ask, what the outlook is. It seems like there are 1, 3 , and 5 year plans with rapidly decreasing probability. It sounds like I will stay on this toxic chemo, or some variation of it, for as long as I can stand it, every two weeks,  or until some other scientific opportunity emerges. In real terms, I am thinking about a two year lease on a car, and I hope I can get another afterwards!

I can't keep up with replying to comments on the blog, but I love them!  Please know how much they, and the cards, and the prayers, and the food and the errands, have all meant to me! I hope you can feel as personally thanked as I feel personally uplifted by all your good energy.

Love,

Lynne